After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
