xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
