So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
