i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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