They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
