dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
