Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
