Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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