Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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