i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
