Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize