i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Be still, my beating vagina.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
