How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
