Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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