I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
