Plan B is the new Plan A
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
