your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
