Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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