i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Plan B is the new Plan A
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
