I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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