i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
