Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
is it fun? or sober?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
