Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
