he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
