Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
