One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
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I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
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I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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