never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
