You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
