I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
