What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
