I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
