Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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