Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
