Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Girls should come with a carfax report
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize