This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize