well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
