He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
