i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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