i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
