I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
