If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
