On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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