I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
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