sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
i need to put some appletini on your dick
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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