at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
