The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
