Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
