birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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