he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Randomize
