My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
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