weddingsv make me drug and hornr
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
