Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Come share oat with me in your robe
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize