I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
