sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
