She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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