Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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