she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
