Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
