i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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