So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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