I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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