break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
She's not a foreskin expert like you
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize