Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
