I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
