Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
