shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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